A Little Travel Humor

Currently, I am on another 12 day sojourn through Asia and the Pacific. Today I reside in Honolulu, tommorrow, Osaka. Then Honolulu. Then Tokyo. Finally home on the 23rd. 4 times across the Pacific Ocean the next 5 days. I am pooped just thinking about it! Interestingly enough, flights to Japan from to Hawaii and back often fly though turulence. It is a fact of life on these legs so that brings me to our "Aviation Information of the day". Turbulence on a flight.

Turbulence is caused by a number of things like jet streams, thunderstorms etc. All most people know is that it makes them darned uncomfortable while in the back of an airplane. Here is what is happening in the cockpit when you are getting bounced about in the cabin.

Generally, we have a pretty good idea of the areas where turbulence is likely to occur. I say generally because it really is a best guess. Before the flight we study the upper air charts to see where the jet stream is and whether of not it is going to affect out flight. The "jet" is like a ribbon of air that circles the earth, west to east and carries winds sometims in excess of 250 miles per hour. When you cross the jet stream diagonally while on a flight you incur turbulence.

Example: I owned a VW bus in college. Whenever I crossed the Vantage bridge in eastern Wa. I would get wacked sideways by high winds that would have me almost driving up on two wheels. When I got to the other side of the bridge things calmed down and I could putt-putt across to Grand Coulee where I worked. That is what crossing the "jet' is like.

So, when we get into turbulence, we immediately slow the plane down a little and start looking for a quiter altitude. We ask other flights what their flight conditions are and we act accordingly. Very often we cannot descend or climb because there are other planes 1000 feet above or below us. But when we do descend in search of a smoother altitude, in the cabin you will hear a rush of air. This "whoosh" sound can scare the crapola of some people.It is nothing more than the pressurization system doing its thing and is perfectly normal on all descents. Trust me, we are always in search of smoother air. If we are still in turbulence after about 15 minutes you can be sure that there is no better altitudes of that we can't go to the smooth altitude because someone else is there.

So there you have it, a quick and dirty on turbulence. Rest assured the pilots dislike it almost more than the passengers do. It is uncomfortable for all of us. I have a short story about this subject that I will share with you.

A flight was crossing the ocean one night and all of a sudden a pilot called out on the radio to any other flight that might be listening "This is American 615 at Flight Level 370. We are getting bumped around pretty good up here. Anyone got a smooth altitude?" "American 615, this is United 343 at FL350. Sorry to hear about your ride. As for us and our ride at 350, well, I'll tell ya, I just got my lunch and the coffee is jitterin' a little but so far I haven't spilled a drop". "Thanks United. Is there anybody else at 370 with a ride report?" American asked. "American, this is Northwest 28. We are about 140 miles ahead of you and I would like to give you a ride report but I have yet to get my lunch".

A little airline humor. Well, off to parts unknown.